The impermanence of a rose

Everything dies. To remind myself of this I bought myself a small bunch of roses today. 

'Impermanence is a principle of harmony. When we don’t struggle against it, we are in harmony with reality.' Pema Chodron

I was listening to a podcast by Dr Rick Hanson and Forrest Hanson this morning (https://www.rickhanson.net/being-well-podcast/). During the session they were talking about impermanence, they referred to the Buddhist cornerstone of impermanence and how this wisdom can allow us to live our one big beautiful life more richly. They mentioned the metaphor of a rose; the rose is beautiful but the beauty doesn't last, the flower wilts, the petals fall and eventually it rots. We can bemoan the death of the flower or take it even further and avoid the inevitable sense of loss by avoiding roses altogether. In doing so, though, we lose something. We lose the experience of watching the petals unfurling, opening up to reveal the flower's hidden depths, witnessing the beauty of the rose in it prime. 

We can live it safe and small to avoid feeling pain from loss as we, and everyone and everything around us, grows and changes. The pain will still come eventually, it always does. If we invest our energy into resistance we increase our suffering and deepen our despair but until the pain arrives it gives us some sense of control and protection. This is an illusion but it's a comfortable one. 

The alternative is to accept that tough times will come, we will lose and fail, we will falter on the path. But we will also have moments of deliciousness. This acceptance can give us the freedom to live our one big beautiful life more fully; enabling us to take the risks, to follow dreams, to explore opportunities. It can also offer us grace when things go wrong, when we are faced with loss, failure and despair. 

At the moment I am in a state of flux, between places and that feels uncomfortable. So today I bought myself these roses to remind me that this is life; it can be hopeful, and beautiful, but nothing lasts forever. What am I doing with this one big beautiful life I have been given? There is nothing promised in this world apart from the fact that everything dies... this is a gift, I guess we just need to be brave enough to accept it. 

“Life is fragile, like the dew hanging delicately on the grass, crystal drops that will be carried away on the first morning breeze.” Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche